What is wrong with me??? Of course...many of the people who even read this were either at camp, or getting ready to get married, or doing something else really cool that might keep you from reading it....it's all good people....let's catch up shall we????
- So I hate working at Beech Bend... I'm missing so much stuff that is happening outside of Bowling Green (no camp visit, no home visit). I hate it. The Flying Bobs sucked. I wanted it to die. It did a couple of weeks back, so it's not as terrible, but still. I've missed so much this summer, and now, as we are about to go into weekend only duty...here's what I will continue to miss....
- Any trip to Chattanooga
- Lawhorn and Guin's wedding (I HATE THIS)
- Newsong 2009 (Skillet, Run Kid Run, Chasen, the Newsboys, all in concert, and I had a free ticket.)
- Being the speaker at home church for Homecoming.
I hate working at Beech Bend. It's dumb and stupid and I hate it. I can't wait to have a real job like most people.
- I really had a meltdown about a month ago. Just a moment of all out despair. Like I was a waste, a failure, a loser. My biggest fear is that I somehow get in the way of God using all the gifts He has given me in a way that glorifies him. And to be honest, I don't think I'm completely out of the funk....I've just found a way to look the other way for now, cuz nothing's changing soon...or at least anything I can see....
- I'm really excited about football starting up soon....nothing in my life really changes with that, I just really like football.
- I have airchecks and evaluations with CFR coming up this week. This is only the 2nd time I've gone through it with the station, and I've been here over 2 years. Usually, this is a nerve racking time, cuz it's basically a chance for the program director to tear into your broadcast style in the name of helpful critcism, but I'm looking forward to it...I want to better....I have to be better.
- I think that's what's going on in my spiritual life as well....I have to get better. I'm not in the word as much, I'm not in prayer as much, I'm not looking for God's guidance as much, and then I wonder why I'm in such a rut. I have to be better....I WANT to be better. I've got to find a way to balance my life, or more importantly, to put God FIRST. Why do I always seem to forget this truth? I want to punch myself in the face as I type this.
Alright, time to stop whining, and start doing....there, it's settled. And maybe I'll get down to Chattanooga here sometime too....but there's no way I'm gonna be at the wedding...Please don't hate me Guin. Can't call you that for too much longer.
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6 months ago