Thursday, November 12, 2009

So am I being an idiot???

First of all...props to the Jerk for letting me know when I should blog again....I knew I could count on that jerk for something....

It has been a roller coaster ride since pledge drive....We made our goal, which was really exciting, I think with more gifts coming in after the drive, we got over $40,000. So I was feeling good...

I've been working through a temp agency here in Bowling Green, Kelly Services since about the time pledge drive's been good to work, and thanks to a long term assignment to ShopNBC, I have more in my account now than I've had in a long time...Again, feeling good....

Working at ShopNBC SUCKS!!! It's soul crushing. I just spend all day putting items in boxes and shipping them out. Great use of that college degree, and all the people that believed in me and stuff. I work 10 hour days (6:30-5, 30 minutes for lunch), then shower, eat, and head to the station from 7-10. Bed at 11. Rinse. Repeat. It wears a brother down. I've wanted to just leave...but with nowhere to go, I just stay put....feeling really crappy.

I even talked to my mom about it over the phone. I don't think I've ever done that before, but I felt alright after telling her all the stuff going through my head. How I think the only reason I'm in Bowling Green is because I'm too scared to go anywhere else.

Next day, I work at Shop, get off at 5, check my phone for voicemail. Usually I get nothing, but it's just a routine....2 messages. First is from Shop, they want to bring me on as a regular employee, but they don't say for what position....The second is from Fruit of the Loom. I had put in a resume for an IT position a couple months back, but after my roommate got an interview for the same position and never got a call back, I figured that was the end of that....turns out it wasn't. I HAD AN INTERVIEW!!

It went pretty well that I got a second interview. This despite the fact that I have little to no IT experience. OK, no IT experience. But a second interview....means I could actually get this job....Ben (who works in the same department) thinks I've got a really good shot...

I was supposed to have that 2nd interview today, but Fruit had to reschedule. Which sucks, cuz now I get more time to think about whether or not I really want this job....

Yeah, you read that right, I'm conficted on whether or not I want the job. Don't get me wrong, it's a great opportunity. A great start with a great company. But what does this change about my life? Here's what I'm struggling with before Fruit...
Crappy job
Lack of financial security
Very few "real" relationships
Lack of time to build relationships
Frustration over the fact that I can't get into a field that I am passionate about (Broadcasting)

The only thing this job will change are the first two. I'm still going to do my radio job, because I love it, and I'm not ready to give it up. I already had to give up my Portland sports job, and I HATE that. So yeah, I'll have a lot more money than I have now, not to mention benefits like health insurance (which I do not currently have). But am I closer to being where God wants me to be? Don't really know...

So here's a I being a complete idiot for having doubts about this job??? Comments are welcome...


  1. Here are my two cents:
    If you get the IT job, take it. You're not happy with your scenario right now, so keeping things the same definitely won't help any. If you take the Shop job, it will further solidify your situation. If you take neither, you're back to no money. I imagine Fruit will give you better hours and a comparably salary, so take it if you can. Also, keep looking for broadcasting gigs because you need to get out of Bowling Green. There might be fear there, but you've got to overcome it. (btw-You know this is about as serious as I get, so soak it in while you can.)

    I've got not suggestions for the relationships stuff. Um...strip club? Either way, you definitely won't have time for relationships with your current schedule, so, again, IT job. Oh, and stop being a jerk...Jerk.

    Jacob Shoaf, Esquire

  2. Hi JOSEPH!!!

    I hate giving advice! People keep ASKING me for it. Go figure.

    I think if I were in your position, I'd take the FOL job for right now. You could have the security of an income, while still searching for ways to fulfill your dream. Brady is gonna have the same problem come May. I mean, he wants to be in the film industry. Obviously, that's not very profitable in Booneville, lol. Work at FOL awhile, build up your confidence, then seek a broadcasting job somewhere besides Bowling Green. I have confidence in you, and you're good at what you do. I will say a special prayer for you. Let me know how this all turns out. Oh yeah, and come see us!

    Love ya